i died today.
a couple of months ago, this girl met this guy. and they fell in love. oh, he was terribly sweet, in words. and how she loved it. the words, "i love you" were forever on the tip of his tongue. but she held the words in, knowing she could only say things she meant. when she was sure, she only said them once in awhile, thinking that if she said it all the time, their meaning would fade. and at the same time, her love would fade, too. but she realised that that was ridiculous, she should've been telling him from the very moment she met him how much she loved him.
he had a commitment, though- to himself. he'd promised himself and someone else that he would be single, and remain single until two years later, wherein he believed the right one would come his way. he couldn't very well break that vow. so he told her, and she said all right, she would wait. and she meant it, too. faithfully, she waited. although many temptations came her way, she brushed them off. he was to be the only one for her, she promised herself.
then, it happened. one day he was there, and the next, he upped and went. she had had a minor tiff with him the previous day, in which he had cajoled her to forgive him. she told him of her fear, how afraid she was that she'd lose him. but he only told her he was more afraid she'd play
him. with assurances that she'd never do that, they went their own ways. he prolly didn't realise how emotionally attached she was to him then. that night, she sent him a text message declaring how much she loved him, and how jealous she was that afternoon. she waited until three in the morning, but there came no reply.
later that day, she texted him again. "are you mad at me?" were the very words she asked. he brushed her off with a no, and all but told her to stop bothering him. hurt and bewildered by his attitude, she decided to not text him anymore, although her fingers itched to find his number, hit the call button, and demand assurance that everything was going to be all right.
that night, she was on the computer, staring at his name in her instant message list. her taskbar blinked with his name, and she clicked on it. they conversed and she saw the very words her heart dreaded. his feelings had faded in one night. tears in her eyes, she knew there was nothing she could do. had he been telling her it was over the previous day..?
she felt a fool.
