28.5.05
"life isnt purely about academic achievements." -some guy on 93.8, saturday afternoons.
know i havent posted in a long,
long time. thats because there's nothing to say. it's the same mundane routine everyday..
cant wait for sunday.
time to start looking for a new blogskin, i think.
2:36 PM;
Suga suga, how you get so fly?
13.5.05
friday, the thirteenth.
and i couldnt tell you
why she felt that way; she felt it
everyday.
you do those same things over and over again.
you keep on hurting me.
and i couldnt help her, i just watched her
make the same mistakes again.
each time you say you're sorry,
i'm stupid enough to believe you every time.
what's wrong what's wrong now
too many, too many problems.
the things are building up too high
they're piling up and i cant handle it.
dont know where she belongs,
where she belongs.
i dont know anything right now.
i'm too confused.
she wants to go home,
but nobody's home.
i need somewhere to hide
to sort myself out-
it's where she lies broken inside,
with no place to go, no place to go.
to dry her eyes, broken inside.
but there's nowhere that hasnt hurt me.
no one wants me anymore.
you made me cry just one drop too many.
her feelings she hides,
her dreams she can't find.
no one i can trust,
and you've destroyed all my dreams.
she's losing her mind
she's falling behind
i'm too confused.
i dont know what i'm doing.
she cant find her place, she's losing her faith
she's fallen from grace
i dont know where i'm supposed to be
and i was too faithful till i dropped all dignity-
SHE'S ALL OVER THE PLACE
i can never trust again.
6:54 PM;
Suga suga, how you get so fly?
12.5.05
i am so sunburned!
lol.
this morning woke up at seven. then went back to sleep like until 730. supposed to meet lynette and shufei at outram mrt at 0800. was a bit late. hahas. so went to macs. then bought breakfast! like super early. 0823. hahas. then mel came. then joshua and then evina. ate already then went to take shuttle to sentosa. after that, took another bus. to palawan beach, then took picture of SLIPPERS! ((: lynette drew a heart in the middle. nice. then me and lynette were trying to run everywhere to find a place to put our stuff. so put on the sand. then found a better place so transferred stuff. and the two places like super far. then went to 7-eleven to buy food. hahas. were supposed to find beachball. they have volleyball! but its like super ex. and we dont know ask who to keep. so in the end bought food. i ate super a lot la. but its ok cos we didnt have lunch. mm.. then the others arrive already. they plan on getting wet. but i dont want.. lynette actually also didnt want either but joshua pushed her into the water! LOL. stupid joshua. then we played sand. dug a trench for joshua which we planned to push him into and bury him. in the end didnt. so we dug a sand pool! near the water. then the sea kept washing parts of the sand walls away. but in the end we did succeed. but the water level in the pool kept decreasing! because it was low tide and the water was seeping through the sand. then me and joshua kept jumping in the remaining water and splashing mel. evina, lynette and me climbed up the rocks at the side there. we go into the (forbidden place) and scream.. XD the others were playing volleyball.. then joshua popped out of nowhere. so we all climbed down together. then they alll went to have a dip so me, lynette, and mel went to cafe. i thought i lost my wallet! but in the end it was in joshua's bag. lol. i asked him to keep for me one. so we went to the cafe. felt like having wine or something! haha, but i think cannot la. so yup. peacocks were in the cafe.. we went to take photos of them. they're super vain la. the male ones. when we wanted to take photo of them, they POSED. lol. i shall upload the pictures later. but yeah. hahas. then sharon, shufei they all i think pretty much stayed in the water the whole day. lol. mel, lynette and i did a lot of things. we go chase peacocks, disturb the 7-eleven shopkeepers (lynette thought they were twins. one of them keep flirting with her.) and suntan! and we played frisbee. hahas. today like super fun la. i wrote my letter to amirah with my back to the sun. now my back is bright RED because i ws wearing halter. and i got sunburn all over. dont touch me! lol. just now not pain. but now.. OUCH. lol. i got the tanlines! lol. they're like really obvious. my back, arms and back is all red. like a lobster. just now was like.. nothing. during the bus ride back to harbourfront my back felt very hot.. even though i wore tee over the halter, but mel said she could feel HEAT RADIATING from my back and arms even through my shirt. this is the first time i have sunburn! so exciting. thats why i'm talking so much about it. then we did a lot of things. after that, went to harbourfront hawker to eat dinner. lynette, michelle and shufei had to go home. yum. so hungry. hahas. then after that, sharon and evina went off. so me, mel and josh went harbourfront. me and mel went to get stuff. we got phone accessories. i got for my keys too. hahas. then went home! ((: today so fun.
tomorrow: movie marathon.
10:13 PM;
Suga suga, how you get so fly?
11.5.05
is this how it feels to have someone break your heart?
i never knew how it felt until now.
although he says its not what i think. and i dont doubt him. but why, why, why must the first time i have a heartbreak, it must be from the person i love most? of all, besides God, i loved
you most. and after i promised myself you would be the last one i'd ever love. and you had to break my heart and make me look like a fool. a fool for you.
if you dont love her anymore, why'd you still accept that testimonial.? couldnt you just tell her how you felt? unless you're keeping either me or her dangling.
you never seem to find time to talk to me. couldnt you just say something? and even if you're not with your phone, couldnt you just answer
one of my texts when you got back with your phone? you didnt even bother.
i'm too tired, too confused and too stressed up to deal with this right now. all i wanted was to love you. if you dont love me back you could tell me. now you know, so i'll leave it up to you. i never knew heartbreak could be so unbearable, so painful.. and last for so long. my heart is breaking bit by bit, and i wont be surprised if it's going to take eternity to heal. even for God, my heart will need TLC that you were able to easily provide but chose not to. my heart hurts. it really, really hurts.
two can play at that game.
i'm getting so tired, so hurt, so discouraged by events and things happening. sometimes it feels like the whole world is against my trying to live my life and love it. each time i fall down, i pick myself up. but it's getting harder and harder. and soon it'll be totally impossible. i need someone to help me stand again. but who?
9:17 PM;
Suga suga, how you get so fly?
10.5.05
i had a dream the other day
that you'd driven me to madness-
obviously i couldnt tell it was a dream.
i dreamt that, in frustration and despair,
i pulled the broken heart from my chest
half of it i sauteed with mushrooms,
garnished with asparagus
and partook of my own Last Supper.
the other half i UPSed to you,
its former owner.
b rr o kk e nn h ea rr t e dd-
i love
you, yes i do.
and i sit alone watching as my life unfolds in front of me.
hopeless infatuation;
and i will never love anyone else
as how i've loved you.
hold me to this promise.
because you love me, too.
even though one day
our ways may part
i'll never forget you;
you'll always stay in my heart.
you're the one that
caused me heartbreak
made me cry
and gave me a permanent heartache.
if you expect me to forget you
after all you've done to me
get out of my life;
cause its you i will always love, dont you see?
wohaoaiisniix.
5:21 PM;
Suga suga, how you get so fly?
6.5.05
i.cried.because.of.YOU.
sheesh.
11:12 PM;
Suga suga, how you get so fly?
4.5.05
happy birthday, BIGBRO((:
right.. today was our history paper. and after that, i was supposed to go home with sharon. but instead we went tiong for breakfast. with yelin and eileen. on the way in the bus sharon so NOISY. hahas. ((: got guys from gess ask for sharon's number. then type message in his phone then give her. his phone is an N-GAGE. hahas. so sharon got stomach ache, we went toilet. then we play toilet paper. take the toilet paper (still attached to the dispenser) and pass here and there. lol. then i took all the paper sharon give me (because i'm at the end, our cubicles are in one row.) then i rolled into a not-unlike beehive shape. then sharon finish le, we go yelin toilet cubicle and take the toilet paper trail and flush down the toilet. then took my beehive. eileen take photo of it. then she take video of us flushing the beehive down the toilet bowl. damn sick la. laugh like crazy. then the beehive cannot fit down the hole! you know, the toilet bowl hole.) oh no! so yelin saved the day by using her foot and submerging the beehive with toilet bowl water. then somemore got BUBBLES. bloop bloop. hahas. so loud la. wow. really eileen video-ed the whole thing. even got bubble sound. ok. then after that the toilet FLOOD. got water come out of the bowl. SICK man. lol. so what we do? we fled. lol. then after that got people go in. so we faster run. then yelin go home. me, sharon, eileen go bugis. in the mrt station saw mel c, suzy, huichin, jasmine, michelle. walk around. walk here walk there. sharon and eileen looking for shuai ge. hahas. then eileen help someone buy jeans. &169. so ex. haha. then sharon bought her top. and then went to take neos. or is it take neos before buying clothes?
...i think so.
ok then after that went mos burger. sharon treat me... no no HELP ME PAY first.. for milkshake.
ehh i really didnt know that milk+ice cream= milkshake.. i thought milkshake=milk+shake.
really!
ok then went back. took train with sharon.
lalala.
tomorrow math..
what if i fail?
i'm studying hard. really i am.
but nothing's going in.
i need
help.
5:02 PM;
Suga suga, how you get so fly?
1.5.05
i'm gonna be SO broke this month, my available cash is mostly tied up.
$105-mel g for antiracism.
$50-
something. haha. go figure!
anyways. after service went coffee shop. didnt bring book for CL so didnt go. stayed in there and talked. nison always seems to think that i put blusher. i dont! its just that the coffee shop is so WARM. that my face always flushes from the heat. talked to nick, desmond, tammie. then left for cafe with huimin&joy. stayed there and talked. whoo. nice. aircon(: *fans cool air towards face*
waited for sis shirley like.. LONG after huimin&joy left. so met john. he was there playing guitar and fellowshipping(i think) with his cgmates. so. talk talk. then after that he intro-ed me to his cgmates. ALICIA(: knew her from ex-cg. then watched him and his cg guitarist play guitar. then after that, sis shirley came so handed her the receipts and left.. took 242. i reached boonlay earlier than kaishing&weiqian. although they left on an earlier bus. hahas((: anyway.. messaged nick to ask if he was still in jp or something to find him go home. but the train came.. so yeah. then received a call from him.. he asked me where i was and i told him nearing lakeside.. then he said he thought we were on the same train.. so he asked me to go find him at the first cabin. i was like in the middle of the train:/ so walked all the way up and found him. hahas.
HI NICK((:
6:30 PM;
Suga suga, how you get so fly?
