20.7.05

these two years; i've been drifting in and out of relationships, trying to convince myself that i dont love you.
i tried--
and i failed.
why i cant succeed in convincing myself is a mystery to me; myself. barely more than two months ago, i thought i'd found someone who could replace you. it was all an illusion; a delusion; a hallucination, for 29 days. it felt like 29 years. i dumped him just to avoid the heartache i knew would follow. i'm sorry, but my patience just ended there. i snapped.
you're someone i want, so badly, but i cant have you. i know i cant. everyone would flip. they wouldnt believe it. and you, still brimming with feelings for two other girls, would probably be shocked and repulsed. i am, after all, cacophobic for a reason. i told you, mirrors make me cringe.
i hate myself. i know this contradicts my skin, but i do.
embroiled in a situation like this, there's nothing left to do but hide all my feelings and wait. baby, i'm not sure how much i'm prepared to pay for your love.

5:29 PM;

Suga suga, how you get so fly?


! APHRODISIAC 
RAH-RAH (:

. strikeforcer!
. cheerleader: flyer
. christian
. harvester
. 120891

thin is beautiful(?).
Love-Hate Relationship
with High Heels.



! TEARINGUSAPART 

OH PUH-LEAAAASE DADDYKINS?

to walk by God's side; always.
and you.


MATERIAL
a drumset
iRiver H10 Triple Platinum
a nokia with a bloody memory card
you know, it would be so romantic to receive blue roses from some guy everytime i see him.(:
CHEERLEADING SHOES!
a perm.
dark coloured cargos; SnK/BUM?
new jeans
plain, brightly coloured sports bras
ooh! glitter mascara(:
loreal's panoramic curl black mascara
shu uemura eyelash curler
hiphuggers from victoria's secret
Victoria's Secret PINK collection racerbacks
VS Signature Graphic Print Sleepshirt from victoria's secret

READS!<3
The Devil wears Prada; Lauren Weisberger [S$16.95
The autobiography of Paris Hilton; Paris Hilton

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! MEASURESUP 
Featuring: December 2005 Vogue
Lyrics: Everything I'm Not - The Veronicas
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!  LOSINGMYSELF 

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