i just returned from strikeforce. it was super fun today. we performed for pastor derek. before that, we practised a lot. oh yeah, and the drum, the chemical bin, hit me back so many times. on my knee. it hurts...got four bruises there. three are small and one is large as anything.
it hurts.
after service, we had soccer...went to cck stadium. then played a few matches, then it rained. then it stopped, then they went to play again. then it rained again. then it slightened to a drizzle.
about three i went home. then everyone started scolding me for dunno what being home late or whatever.
fine lorh. everyone's so unhappy that i go home, fine. next time i dont go home. so unhappy. scold here scold there. good lorh. next time i dont come home they'll be much happier.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
it hurts.
both physically and emotionally.
it hurts.
i cant run to my mommy anymore.
she doesnt love me.
i can run to my heavenly daddy.
He loves me.
unconditionally.
no matter how late i come home, or even if i come home at all, He loves me and He wants me home, even if my earthly parents dont.
He loves me.
i am on a journey- an exciting, adventurous journey. it's a journey on the road of life. along my journey i experience thrills and spills, and i encounter enormous mountains and vast valleys.
i've taken many wrong turns and a few detours, and i've lost my way in the wilderness countless times. but, somehow, i always find my way back to the road, the narrow road. God keeps it all lit up for me so i'll always be able to find my way home.
you know how on hot summer nights you can see the lights of a stadium all the way across town? even if its a long way off, if you follow the lights, you can eventually find your way to the stadium. God's light is like that. it penetrates the darkness andshines steadfastly, and if you'll just keep it in view and keep making your way toward it, you'll eventually end up right there with Him.
but sometimes, the freedom of the wide road seems much more fun than the confines of the narrow road. and i find myself wandering off course and away from God. on the wide road, i can make my own rules and decide my own way. and i like that...for a while. but soon the air there becomes bitter and stale. and the crowds of people press against me, and i get sweaty and covered in dust. i begin to feel as if i'm suffocating. and it's so dark and i feel so lonely- even though i'm surrounded by thousands of other lost souls. and in my desperation, i begin to frantically search for the light. i finally spot it, but it's far away, and i'm tired and weary. i want to give up and rest right where i am. but i know that could get me into trouble. it's sort of like sleeping in your car at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere. anything can happen.
i'm so tired and so far from home, i've accumulated so much baggage that i cant possibly carry it all on my own. i've been away from the light so long that i've forgotten that there are people there who really want to help, and that there is One who is strong and loving and wants to carry my load. He misses me and wants me to come home.
but i'm so ashamed. i've turned my back on Him; i cant ask Him for help now. i cant go home. just look at me. my face is smudged with dirt, my clothes are filthy and worn, my hair is wild and out of control- just like my life. my body is covered with cuts and bruises, and i know they're there because of my own stupid choices.
i cant go home... not like this. i look again at my sad surroundings, then i lift my face to the magnificent road in the distance, all lit up and waiting for me. i know i want to go there; i want to experience the warmth of the light once again. just then, i hear a faint noise coming from far down that luminous road. the sound gets louder and louder,and it sounds so beautiful- like someone cheering and joyfully clapping and shouting. then i hear my name. i cant believe it. someone is calling out my name. i begin to walk forward so i can hear better, and before long, i'm running so fast i cant stop. the voice is so familiar. finally, i see where its coming from. it's the most glorious vision i've ever seen.
-to be continued.
the sequel in the next post.
/i'm just learning how to smile
